You Know You’re a Newbie to Twitter When… (Twitter Humor)

twitter-humorYou Know You’re a Newbie to Twitter When…

  1. You’re invited to a Twitter party, but no one tells you to sign into Tweetchat. So you have no idea how to get in. Nope. There’s no door to knock on to get into this party.
  2. Once you find Tweetchat, you type the name and press “Go” instead of “Sign in.” This will result in you feeling like you are a fly on the wall, able to observe, but not able to participate.
  3. The chat looks frozen until you suddenly get deluged by a waterfall of new comments. You will need to change how many seconds to wait before seeing the comments. The default option is, for some reason, unacceptable, even though Twitter has put this as the default.
  4. You feel dizzy and slightly seasick as you try to read people’s unintelligible tweets.
  5. It feels like a deep, dark cave where you are lost, and this feeling is only intensified by the constant echoing. (It’s called retweeting, and for some reason people retweet everything over and over, even though you heard them perfectly well the first time.)
  6. Many conversations are happening at the same time, kind of like schizophrenia might sound in your head, but it’s typed out nice and neatly.
  7. There are so many people in the room, but you feel completely alone.
  8. Unlike any other party, there is an eerie silence…
  9. You see someone trying to talk to you, but then the comment gets pushed down so far, you can never find it again. You sigh and go up to the top of the pile of comments, because you’re missing out on the questions.
  10. People start passing around virtual trays of brownies, and your seasick stomach starts to growl as you realize that maybe it’s time to go home now. Oh, wait. I AM home. You close the Twitter window, and the madness is over…

(SusanCEvans on Twitter)

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5 Responses to “You Know You’re a Newbie to Twitter When… (Twitter Humor)”

  1. Reen says:

    Thanks for helping me confirm my decision to never begin a Twitter account…lol. I love your writing style, Susan. Thanks for the chuckles.

    • Susan says:

      I turned my extreme frustration into humor. It took me half an hour just to get into the party room, because I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do. Now that I know how to get into Twitter parties, it shouldn’t be so exasperating.

  2. Malea says:

    Hahaha…that is funny! I’m so glad I let you take the plunge first! I’ve seen, and been invited to Twitter parties, but never had the courage to figure it out. LOL!

  3. I was there very recently! lol

  4. Aaron says:

    Ok, Susan. You have me laughing so hard! Thank you for that! Sounds dangerous. Glad you’re a brave pioneer for the rest of us who aren’t ready for braving those waters. lol.

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