Archive for the ‘Church’ Category

The Cursed Gift of Discernment

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

gift-of-discernmentMany, many years ago, before I was married, I knew a man from my church (my college group) who loved the Word of God with such passion, and he defended it. There would be maybe a dozen of us college students at a Dennys restaurant in the middle of the night. If someone spoke something that was error Scripturally, he knew the truth, and he spoke the truth. His face would get really serious (he was normally a goofball, so the transformation was actually quite dramatic). And he nailed it. Everything he said was true; I looked it up. He used pure Scripture to speak, and he spoke so eloquently that I wanted to clap. I love the Truth. I love it with all my heart. So this man’s spiritual gift made him very attractive to me. I ended up marrying him because of it.

My husband’s spiritual gift cuts through the bull and gets to the heart of the matter. If you didn’t know him, you might think he was mad. But he is speaking the truth in love, I can promise you that. The reason I know this is because a highly respected woman from my church has the same spiritual gift, and it manifests itself in the same identical way. But because she’s in a position of leadership, her words are respected and taken to heart. Yes, a few women are ticked off and don’t like her, but the reason they don’t is that they don’t want to know the truth. The truth hurts, especially when it is a Scripture directed to a personal sin in your own life. Ouch, is what I say. Please tell me more. I don’t want sin in my life. I don’t need it to be candy coated, and this person can’t candy-coat it without compromising the truth. So they don’t. It is not sin for her to get super serious, speak in an almost agitated tone of voice, and almost sound like she’s yelling at me. Her rebukes are harsh, even from my point of view. But I am absolutely certain that she loves me. She knows that my heart wants the truth more than anything. Where else can I go? I NEED people like this in my life. She can see straight through to my soul and see things that I don’t know are there. And she is right. I repent and I am healed in a matter of minutes. Deep spiritual surgery has occurred in a short space of time, and I feel so clean and pure I want to shout for joy. The crucifixion of my sin frees me. I love her so much. I love ALL of it – the complete package — because it’s so highly effective. Telling her to dilute it would compromise the content of the message. It wouldn’t get through to my heart. I WANT it to get through. Less sin, more peace. The truth sets me free.

One hundred percent of people with this spiritual gift look like they’re mad, but they are not mad. They also sound arrogant, but they’re usually not. They are certain about the truth, and their utter confidence comes across as pride. But my husband and my gray-haired mentor friend are two of the most humble people I know, and now I know why. They’ve been slammed across the head their whole life for speaking the truth, and they are especially hated at church. To be misunderstood for so many years is humiliating. Pastors talk to you and rebuke you and tell you not to use your spiritual gift. Really? Now what do you do? You must submit to your pastor, but if you bury your spiritual gift in the sand… there’s someone else you’re ticking off, and that’s God. Scripture is very clear that God is ticked off with people who bury their spiritual gift. You are not allowed to do that. You must continue to see error and know the answer, and speak it.

If any of you know someone with the gift of discernment, please don’t despise their gift. It is the least liked gift in the church, but if you don’t listen to that person, or tell them to shut up, it’s like gouging out your eye. Every true church has at least one person with this gift, since God never leaves a church without all the spiritual gifts represented. I dare you to find one that is in your church.

Pros and Cons of Family-Integrated Churches

Sunday, July 4th, 2010

family-integrated-churches

I am ashamed to admit that this morning I was so furious that I gathered my children and left in the middle of the church service. I’ve never done that before because I love church with all my heart and soul. But today I just didn’t have the energy to clock in all the work that was required in a family-integrated church. My husband wasn’t there because he was in the Czech Republic on a missions trip, so that also factored in.

Don’t get me wrong. The vast majority of the time, my children are completely silent and perfect. It’s true. I sometimes forget that they’re even there as I listen to the church sermon. (A family-integrated church has no Sunday school for the children, so the children sit with their parents during the entire church service.)

The fact that my children are completely self-controlled for an hour and a half is a miracle in itself if you understood the energetic nature of my children. This is one of the benefits of family-integrated churches. If the children can be completely silent and self-controlled for a full hour and a half during a church service, they are capable of being self-controlled in any circumstance. It is a good character quality to have at any age.

Another benefit of having a family-integrated church is that there is no negative peer pressure. Peer age segregation that happens in the schools is one reason many people homeschool their children. Sunday schools, and especially youth groups, have worldly conversation, and most youth groups have teenagers who are sleeping around, smoking, and rebellious to parents. The attitudes rub off on the other teenagers, who are then no better off than if they had gone to school.

Families also learn from the same passage in Scripture. There is a more mature message, and if your children are truly saved, many of them can have steak to eat spiritually instead of watery milk that is served in many Sunday schools.

Then there is the fact that many Sunday school teachers aren’t screened very well. I’m not just talking about sexual molestation. (This actually happened at one church I attended.) I’m also talking about the fact that most teachers don’t know the Word of God at a level where they should be teaching.

For example, when I was a child, my Sunday school teacher told me that Jesus sinned when He didn’t go with His parents when He was twelve. (He was at the temple instead.) The teacher told me this was the only time Jesus ever sinned. At the time I knew this was ludicrous, but I respected authority and didn’t speak up. I think I might have been six years old at the time. Nobody cares who teaches your children. Since they’re not paid, a church is happy if someone (anyone) volunteers.

So I find myself in a family-integrated church, and I’m really grateful, and I love all the people here so deeply. But sometimes I find myself wishing for a break, where I can be completely refreshed because I have no responsibilities next to me. I get so much more out of the sermon when my children are sick at home. (My spouse and I take turns going to church if the children are sick). And even though I teach my children the Bible at home, I find myself wishing that the children could learn a Bible lesson on their own level instead of being forced to sit through a boring (because it is above-their-heads) sermon that goes on and on (since time is perceived differently with young children).

It’s possible that if children sit through so many tiresome sermons, it might be ingrained in their minds that they never want to go to church again when they are out on their own. Why endure that when it can be avoided? So their love for church might not endure in such circumstances. I always try to alleviate this problem by allowing the children to have clipboards with paper and a pencil so that they can doodle, and the time goes by faster. For my toddlers and preschoolers, I always had a bag of goodies that included crayons, a small coloring book, picture books about God, and a story Bible.

So what happened this morning? My sons got the giggles. They were distracting people away from the sermon. Something they were drawing was hilarious. I saw it, and if we were at home, I would have laughed, too. The drawing was of a camping scene with lots of mayhem happening. But my boys just wouldn’t stop laughing. Another son started drawing a hilarious camping scene also, and I calmly took away his clipboard. That son burst into tears because he wasn’t finished with the drawing. I whispered for him to stop crying, but he cried on and on. People were looking over at us, wondering what on earth was going on. I finally was so exhausted by trying to control my children that I whispered that we were leaving. We all walked out.

Out in the car, I’m ashamed to say that I yelled at my children. “I must have poked you 10 times,” I said to one son. “If I poke you once, that means you are doing something wrong. 10 times?! Really?! And you,” I turned to another son, “I know that your pencil broke. You don’t have to keep showing me over and over. You are old enough to listen to the sermon. If the pencil is broken, it’s broken. And you,” I said to my smallest son, “How come you wouldn’t stop crying? This is just ridiculous!! Everyone is taking a nap when we get home. And it’s not over until I say so!”

When we pulled into the driveway, I was fully aware that I had sinned and was ruled by my flesh and not the Spirit. If I wasn’t clued in, I should have noticed when the kids were wailing. I asked God to forgive me. I felt remorse. I had commended my daughter, who had done a good job during the sermon. As the children changed out of their church clothes, I went to each of my sons, one by one, to ask forgiveness. Each of them said they were sorry for the way they had acted. We hugged.