Archive for the ‘Family Life’ Category

Stuck at the Airport

Thursday, August 23rd, 2012

stuck-at-the-airport

The airplane accelerated for takeoff, and I braced myself. Faster, faster, faster… Suddenly we were slowing down, screeching to a halt. As soon as we started slowing down during the takeoff strip, I knew something was wrong. I turned to look at my mother. She knew it, too.

An announcement said that we would have a routine checkup for the engine. We taxied to the gate, and every ten minutes, the pilot would inform us that it would be another ten minutes. My dad joked that we would be there for hours, being told “ten minutes” every ten minutes. Finally the pilot told us that the engine and the back-up engine both needed repairs, that it would be at least two or three hours, so we should get off the plane and take all of our belongings.

As we sat at the airport stranded, my parents said that at least we wouldn’t miss the wedding. We flew in two days early to see family and attend the rehearsal dinner. My parents speculated that if we had stayed on the plane, we would be dead by now.

Even while disembarking the plane, people were angrily pushing and demanding their rights, as if the pilot were God and intentionally messed up his two engines.

I was tranquil. God wanted me here, or I wouldn’t be here. I looked around to see if I was supposed to minister to someone. Everyone looked preoccupied and busy.

The airline told us they were repairing the engines, and it would take two or three hours (it took six). I slipped the book I was reading out of my bag and started reading.

“Did you ever notice that Jesus gave thanks before breaking the bread and feeding the 5,000?” I asked my mom. “Daniel prayed three times a day, giving thanks. We are commanded to bring our petitions to God with thanksgiving.” I paused and quietly gave thanks for the broken engines.

The gray-haired woman across from me was looking at me as if I were an angel. She smiled, and I smiled back. For hours, we had small chit-chat, then I would continue to read my book, showing my mother another verse about being thankful. I knew that even though I was speaking quietly to my mother beside me, the woman across from me was hanging on my every word. I was tranquil in my soul and I had joy.

We were given $6 vouchers to eat dinner, but since I had already eaten, I got my parents coffee. I was trying to explain to my dad how to dance, since my sister said he had the first dance. He said he would just stand there and sway. “You can’t just stand there, Dad. The spotlight will be on you and the bride. Look,” I said, standing up and swaying from the ball of my foot to the other. “You can get away with doing this.”

The people in the coffee shop were all staring at me, too. The intercom announced that our flight was ready for boarding again.

At the wedding two days later, my dad did great with the first dance. All eyes were wet when my sister laid her head on my dad’s shoulder as they were slow dancing to the Carpenters’ song, “Close to You.”

Ridiculously Difficult to Lose Belly Fat

Sunday, August 5th, 2012

difficult-to-lose-belly-fatSo my sister is getting married, and she chooses bridesmaid dresses meant for an 18-year-old. I’m, of course, in my 40’s, and I had no problem with my self-concept until I had to fit into the stupid thing. I heard it ripping. Oh, yes, I forgot to say that measuring myself to order it online was no happy picnic in the park either. Does anyone have measurements like that? I mean, without plastic surgery. And to think that I finally came to a point in my life where I was comfortable in my skin, and I believed I was attractive to my husband, life has to throw in a monkey wrench like this. Sigh.

Zipping the dress up the side, I heard it ripping. But then I checked, and it wasn’t ripped after all. Good, because shelling out $100 for a dress that I will never wear again shouldn’t happen twice in one week. My best friend told me that I should have ordered “up,” and then have it taken in. Right, like that’s another hundred dollars probably. Because the ideal hourglass figure doesn’t allow for reality, not one bit. Either the dress would look like a deflated balloon up top, or it would have to be skin tight on my belly and behind. I chose the latter.

“I have a big pooch,” I said, and my husband agreed, who (bless his heart) was only telling the truth. I wasn’t hurt by the comment. I looked way uglier in the dress than I did naked. Yes, my pooch looked exaggerated by the dress.

I’ve given birth four times. My body is great. I do Zumba. I’m fine. I don’t particularly want to go on a diet just to make an ugly dress appear less ugly. Yes, I’m going to back up and say the dress is ugly and not me. I’m gorgeous. Yes. I suppose I should lose the pooch, though…

I restricted calories. Then for some reason I wanted foods that were bad for me just because I couldn’t have them. I’m like, wow. I don’t normally like cake. Back when I lived like a normal person, I skipped the cake and didn’t feel like I was depriving myself. Now the cake was sitting there like a commercial, you know, looking way better than real life. And then you eat it and feel yucky. Your stomach actually feels disgusting. If I wasn’t on a diet, my stomach would have felt fine. But somehow my brain is now telling my stomach that it did something wrong. I exercise longer to do penance.

The other thing I did was crunches. So I did like a bazillion crunches. Every day. I made sure my belly was in a constant state of hurting. And then my belly looked WORSE. I asked some women at my Zumba class, “What’s up with that?” They said that if you do lots of crunches, it pushes your belly fat forward, so you look worse. Oh, that’s nice.

The wedding is in less than two weeks. I’ve lost five pounds. I have no idea if my belly is any flatter, but at least I tried, right?

Dollar Movies

Thursday, July 19th, 2012

dollar-movies

The summer is a great time to go to the dollar movies, and yes, they still exist in many cities. The tickets usually cost $3.50 instead of $1, but that’s still good when you have a family of six. The movies have been out of the real theaters by the time you see them at a dollar theater, which is about two months behind.

In Spokane, the dollar movies are at the Garland Theater, which is huge and quite beautiful for an old movie theater. Yes, the floors are sticky, but who is going to complain? Oh, and every summer they show a free movie certain mornings, to help people get out of the heat. (Or to get them hooked on going to that theater so that they can stay in business throughout the year.)

dollar-movie-concession-stand

We’ve watched several movies at this theater over the years, including “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs” and “Tangled.” It made us want to build boats out of sandwiches and float lanterns up into the sky. My kids love seeing movies on the big screen.

If you have a zero budget, another way to watch fun movies during the summer with your family is to get some entertaining DVD’s from your library. Not all the videos are educational. Some of them are just for fun, and many are recent releases. Check them out, go home, pop yourself some popcorn, and declare a movie night!

Related article: The Aftermath of a Movie

Tips for Throwing a Fabulous Yard Sale

Tuesday, July 17th, 2012

yard-sale

Here are the top 10 tips for throwing a fabulous yard sale:

  1. The first step in throwing a fabulous yard sale is to de-clutter your entire house. Get rid of everything you can, including any pieces of furniture, putting them into your garage. If people drive by your yard sale and don’t see much, they won’t bother to stop. So if you don’t have enough stuff, ask relatives and friends if they would like to get rid of some stuff. My mother contributed to my yard sale, for example.
  2. The signs need to be clear, written with the thickest marker that exists. Find light-colored construction paper, and use your thick black marker to write “Yard Sale” with an arrow underneath. Do this on 12 large pieces of construction paper, all the same color. When someone is looking for your yard sale and they see the same color on the signs, they know that they are on the right track. Tape the construction paper to the side of a box. You will need 6 boxes, which you can get at Costco or any store that stacks boxes to the side. I forgot to say that your arrows should be 6 to the right, and 6 to the left. When taping the papers to both sides of the box, make sure the arrow points to the same location (opposite arrows).
  3. You will put a brick inside each box to make sure your boxes don’t fly away when you put them on the corners of major streets, leading the cars to your house. You might need more signs depending on how far you are from a big road.
  4. Borrow lots of card tables from neighbors and friends. Label the tables on the bottom to make sure you get them back to the right people. The more tables, the better. No one likes having to crouch down to the ground to see your stuff. You will sell more if the items are on tables.
  5. A free-standing iron bar for hanging clothes is ideal, but I didn’t have one, so I improvised. I hung shirts from a long bush along the side of my driveway. Throw away any clothing with stains, because stained clothing causes people to see your clothes as pieces of garbage, and they won’t buy the good ones either. If everything you display looks nice, people will walk up to it and buy some. I sold lots of clothing for $1 each. Most yard sales can’t sell their clothing because they are heaped up on a table, and who wants to weed through a mound of garbage? Not me. If each garment is hanging individually, people will go up and grab them. Put kids’ clothes together, women’s clothes together, and men’s clothes together.
  6. Several days before the yard sale, put up the card tables in your garage. Divide the stuff into sections. Put toys on one (or two) tables, housewares on another table, sheets and blankets on another table. I was selling a lot of sports equipment this time, so one table had sports stuff. (Unfortunately my driveway is a steep incline, so when people picked up the baseball mitts, an avalanche of balls fell down the driveway, and my customers were alarmed. Then they started laughing and running across the street to see who could grab the most balls before they slammed into the front door of the neighbor’s house across the street.)
  7. Now that you’ve sectioned off the categories on different tables, label the tables with the prices. Paperback books should be 50 cents, hard cover $1. If you charge too much for books, nobody will buy them. DVD’s should be $1; CD’s 50 cents. For my sports table, I put “Balls $1, mitts $4 each.” Toys should be marked individually. I hate those sticker labels that ruin stuff and won’t come off the items. I prefer to write the price with a normal Sharpie marker on white strips of paper, taping them to the item with clear Scotch tape. They always come off without ruining the object.
  8. If you have kids, consider having a bake sale, too. When I’m out yard saling with my mother, I always find it charming to buy a cookie or brownie for 50 cents from a kid. My kids baked the previous day, and we sold out of brownies quickly. My kids felt successful. Banana bread can be sold as a loaf for a higher price, $4.
  9. I don’t pay for newspaper advertising, because I don’t want to be forced to have a yard sale if it’s raining, or if I have no energy that day, or if the kids are barfing or sneezing with snot. Nope. Just put up signs the day you feel like doing it. I made over $200 last Saturday at our yard sale and had a steady stream of people. I only had one piece of furniture. I don’t think I would have had more traffic if I had advertised, and feeling trapped by the date is not a feeling I enjoy.
  10. Only have the sale one day. You make the bulk of the money on the morning of the first day. During the afternoon, you are lucky if you make $20. The whole next day, you are lucky if you make $20. For this reason, I always throw my yard sales from 8am to 1pm on a Saturday. This maximizes your time investment. Take the leftovers to Goodwill immediately after the yard sale. Then sit back and count your money in an air-conditioned house, whooping for joy with your children, who realize that they can now go on a short family vacation.