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Creating Margin in Your Life: Part 3

Friday, October 12th, 2012

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“Fatigue, studies suggest, often has its source in emotional rather than muscular or cardiovascular exhaustion…” – Richard A Swenson, author of Margin.

Are you at a point in your life where you are so tired that sleep doesn’t help? Maybe you’ve been in negative margin status for so long that you forgot what it feels like to be normal. Wouldn’t it be great to feel clear-headed and awake?

“Does anyone feel clear-headed and awake?” asked my sister. “That sounds nice. It sounds too good to be true.” My sister made this statement during a conversation with me ten years ago, back when she was single and had no responsibilities. I was pregnant in the first trimester of my third pregnancy. I had a 12-month-old baby who kept pulling over my parents’ Christmas tree and rummaging through the trash. I had a 2 1/2 year old who had trouble taking naps with his younger brother in the same room. I felt foggy in my mind every day, and I wanted to puke every time I smelled coffee.

Do any of us ever rest properly? Do we put unnecessary pressure in our lives through too much activity? The book Margin lists lots of practical ways to restore margin (and rest) into our lives. Here are some of my favorites, in my own words:

  • Drink more water, eat more leafy green foods, and sleep 8 hours a night.
  • Cultivate friendships that uplift you.
  • Laugh more.
  • Have a healthy hope for your future.
  • Spend less time in front of the television.
  • Don’t be afraid to say no. “If there are one hundred good things to do and you can only do ten of them, you will have to say no ninety times,” the author says.
  • Unplug from technology occasionally.
  • Don’t live beyond your means financially. Be content with what God has given you.
  • Plan for free time. (Block off sections of the calendar to intentionally do nothing.)

The author also mentions enjoying anticipation of an event, and then relishing the memories of that event. Because our schedule is so full, we don’t have time to look forward to an event. We have no time to think fondly back on an event that was highly anticipated. Half the fun is looking forward to an event. If you have no down time, you can’t feel that anticipatory excitement. The event itself is just rushed through to cram in another activity. This is no way to live. Let’s all take a deep breath and live the life that God has called us to live.

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Creating Margin in Your Life: Part 2

Wednesday, October 10th, 2012

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As soon as my husband walked into the bedroom one evening, I yelled, “Power minus load equals margin!” I like to see the look of perplexity on my husband’s face when I say the punch line first without introduction. So I do it on purpose just to get a reaction out of him.

Unexpectedly, he said, “Power without load will blow your fuses.”

Now it was my turn to look perplexed.

“No, honey, I’m talking about this book, Margin. The author defines power and load:

  • Power is made up of factors such as skills, time, emotional strength, physical strength, spiritual vitality, finances, social supports, and education.
  • Load combines internal factors (such as personal expectations and emotional disabilities) and external factors (such as work, relational problems and responsibilities, financial obligations, and civic involvement.)

“When our load is greater than our power, we enter into negative margin status, that is, we are overloaded…

“When our power is greater than our load, however, we have margin.” I read this statement in a “ta-da” sort of way.

I immediately started listing ways that my husband was in negative margin status. He listened for a while until I paused. Then he said, “Let me know when you can fix that…” and walked away.

“There must be some way to fix it. Here is the formula. All we have to do is increase our power and decrease our load,” I shouted, since he was now in another room.

I grabbed a sheet of paper and began listing the load side of my life:

  • homeschooling
  • running a home business
  • paying bills
  • relieving pressure from my husband
  • cooking, cleaning, laundry
  • prayer
  • ministering to other people
  • strained relationships

Then I listed how to increase my power:

  • spending time with God, feasting on His Word and opening my heart up to God in silence
  • asking God what to do every moment, yielding authority to God
  • spending time with my husband, pouring into him, connecting, planning date nights and getaways, and thinking about what his priorities are and doing them
  • spending time bonding with my children, where our relationship feels solid and strong
  • improving my skills and knowledge through reading
  • exercising regularly through Zumba
  • connecting to my sisters and closest friend, who always encourage me in my walk with God
  • repairing any strained relationships through more humility on my part
  • rest

I encourage you to make your own lists of load and power, and try to increase your power, even if you can’t decrease your load.

(Stay tuned for Part 3, Practical Ways to Restore Margin in our Lives…)

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Creating Margin in Your Life: Part 1

Tuesday, October 9th, 2012

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How can we hear God with no margin in our lives? If we are so busy that we are hurrying from one activity to the next, multi-tasking all the while, where is the down time where we mull over what God is teaching us? The busy junk that takes up our time crowds out the most important priorities, which are down time with God, down time with our spouses, and down time with our kids, when we can talk about things that matter and do things that energize us.

This summer I read a book I had been meaning to read for years–Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives by Richard A. Swenson, M.D. The medical doctor who wrote the book took a year “off” to go to Africa, where he performed over 500 surgeries. For some strange reason, he felt rested and like he was on vacation. That’s because people in rural places in third world countries have something that we lack: margin. They sit beside the street and watch the sunset and talk to a neighbor in an unhurried way. There is no stress. Sure, people don’t have enough to eat, but at least they have deep relationships with other people and have lots of leisure time.

When the author of the book returned to the United States, he once again re-entered the hurried, stress-filled world of high pressure. He decided to cut back to part time as a doctor so that he could actually live a real life instead of working continuously until he plopped into bed every night. He and his wife decided to live on a smaller income on purpose so that they could breathe.

Every so often we must ask ourselves what is crowding our lives. Being without a plan is one reason that people never get around to doing what they really intend to do. Without a plan, the day fills itself up automatically, and often nothing of value is accomplished. What else squanders time?

  • Constantly checking e-mail or Facebook.
  • Not dealing with conflicts between children at the beginning. Letting the conflict escalate and not dealing with heart issues. (You can do this right by throwing yourself upon God, asking for wisdom, and taking whatever time it takes to do it right, releasing the other items on your agenda as not as important. God will always come through and give you help if you throw yourself upon Him for real, wanting His wisdom and not your own. James 1:5)
  • Not deciding ahead of time what you will do first, to make sure it gets done in your day.
  • Kids’ activities, maybe too many. Ask God before signing the kids up for sports, instruments, or other lessons. Only God knows if the child needs it, or if relaxing down time is of higher value.
  • Doing our chores in a haphazard manner so that they take up our whole day instead of just running in the background on auto-pilot because of good habits that have been established.
  • Spending time on the phone during the day that is not related to a home business or an emergency. If you call back anybody near the end of the day when you are fatigued rather than during your productive time, the phone call will energize you instead of stealing the time you should have spent with the Lord or doing what you know you ought to be doing.

These are just a few things I thought of off the top of my head that might flush our time down the toilet. We are accountable before God for the time He has given us. Why is it so crowded? Let’s start by crossing off everything that doesn’t matter and begin again with more space on our calendar.

(Stay tuned for Part 2, where I discuss the equation: Power minus load equals margin…)

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Sample Homeschool Schedule

Thursday, September 13th, 2012

sample-homeschool-schedule

Before I type out our homeschool schedule and courses for this school year, I would like to say that if your children are not in high school, there is no reason to do more than one unit study at a time. Do math first thing in the morning; then an in-depth unit study should include (over the course of the year) history, science, literature, reading, writing, and art. Unit studies are the best way to learn, where you splash into one topic and surround yourself with it. All high school and college courses are in-depth unit studies. There is no other way to learn something in a thorough fashion. If you are interested in gardening, and you voraciously read everything you can get your hands on about gardening, you are doing a personal unit study on gardening.

Textbooks are thin rocks skimming upon the surface of a pond, never going deeply enough to give true knowledge that can be remembered for the rest of your life. Textbooks are churning out illiterate children in our public school system (a failing system), and the only reason private schools are successful with textbooks is because the creative teachers make the material into unit studies. I’ve seen it with my own eyes when I was a teacher in the schools, and I’m telling you the truth.

My 10-year-old and 12-year-old have been ready for high school science for years because they have done all the sciences in depth already through unit studies. (My Unit Study Treasure Vault includes our unit studies we’ve done over the years to get to such a high level so young.) My 10-year-old and 12-year-old both read on a college level. I believe their deep knowledge in all subject areas is due to the great unit studies we’ve done.

I don’t feel comfortable sending young teenagers to college to be influenced by ungodly professors at such a formative time in their lives. For this reason I did not start high school biology when my older two kids were 8 and 10, even though they were ready. After praying about it and not wanting to hold them back any longer, I’ve decided to teach high school biology this year, using Apologia Biology.

This year we are doing a Renaissance Unit Study. It’s really a literature unit study, since Shakespeare is the main topic we will be covering. We’ve already watched our first Shakespeare play, and the kids enjoyed it. We will be doing lots of art this year, too.

Bryan (12 years old)

  • Algebra
  • Biology
  • Shakespeare/Renaissance
  • Karate/Swimming

Stephen (10 years old)

  • Pre-Algebra
  • Biology
  • Shakespeare/Renaissance
  • Flag football/Basketball/Swimming

Nathaniel (9 years old)

  • 6th grade math
  • Science kits and unit studies, delight-directed
  • Shakespeare/Renaissance
  • Flag football/Basketball/Swimming

Rachel (7 years old)

  • 3rd grade math
  • Science kits and unit studies, delight-directed
  • Shakespeare/Renaissance
  • Gymnastics/Swimming

SCHEDULE:

  • 7am-8am: Math
  • 8am-9am: Bible/Breakfast/Reading
  • 9am-10am: ~break~
  • 10am-11am: Biology
  • 11am-noon: ~break~
  • Noon-1pm: Shakespeare/Renaissance/Lunch
  • 1pm-2pm: ~silent reading~

My older two sons are reading G.A. Henty historical fiction books during “naptime,” when it is quiet at my house. They are reading through the Renaissance time period. (Last year they read the Henty books set during the medieval time period.) My sons just read a fun book about microscopes during their silent reading time as well, since the first chapter in biology includes becoming familiar with microscopes.

My younger two children read to me right after breakfast. I sometimes throw in a craft for the kids to do around 9am. If any of the kids woke up at 8am instead of 7am, they do their math after breakfast. I sometimes work one-on-one with a child for writing. Otherwise they relax and play. My 3rd son played with snap circuits during part of his free time this week. My daughter had a tea party with her dolls. My oldest son likes to draw during his free time, and my second son loves reading Calvin and Hobbes comic books during his free time, giggling to himself. This is my day in a nutshell.

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