During the first few years of my marriage, I was annoyed whenever my husband started snoring. I sat up, looked at him, and carefully tried to turn him over so that he would stop. This happened only when he was suffering from allergies. Normally he didn’t snore. He just breathed hard.
Now that I’ve been married almost 15 years, I love to hear my husband snoring. It’s relaxing to me. First off, it means that my husband is with me. Sometimes he travels on business, and when he’s gone, I can’t sleep very well because he’s not in bed, and I feel like something is missing. Secondly, my husband has sleep problems (please pray for him; he has had sleep problems for almost 3 years and feels haggard nearly all the time, and I want so desperately for him to sleep). So when I hear my husband snoring, I smile and I’m so happy and peaceful that I fall asleep. I actually like to hear him snore.
During this past winter, I’ve gotten flus and colds, one after another. One night I heard my husband finally start to snore after midnight. I was so happy that I smiled, but then suddenly I felt a tickle in the back of my throat, because I had to cough. I tried so hard not to cough, but I involuntarily let out a cough. My husband stopped storing. I was so disappointed that my cough woke him up…
It’s like this with other aspects in my marriage. The idiosyncracies of my husband have become dear to me. Little things that used to annoy me no longer do. Maybe I’ve just gained perspective on life, on what’s important and what isn’t. Or maybe I’ve let love cover it.
It reminds me of the old movie “Annie,” where the main male character falls in love with a woman, only to tell her that her teeth were crooked. She felt self-conscious for a minute, but then he declared that he loved crooked teeth. He loved her teeth because they were hers. When deficiencies are no longer seen as liabilities, people can feel more restful and secure, knowing that they are accepted for who they are.
My husband used to snore soooooo loud I actually kicked him a couple of time to make him stop! He finally had a sleep study done and discovered he has apnea. He now wears a breathing mask and no more snoring. He says he doesn’t feel tired all the time any more either.
Your poor husband! I’m glad he sleeps better now!
I can relate. During our honeymoon, I got little sleep because of my husband’s snoring. Even worse, he has sleep apnea. Every time he stopped breathing, I’d wake up frightened! Now his snoring has grown a little on me, and I’ve convinced him to do something about the sleep apnea problem.
My husband just did an overnight sleep test, and we found out he didn’t have apnea. At least he doesn’t need a machine. Our problem is that we still don’t know what’s wrong, why he has trouble sleeping.
What a beautiful perspective! Thank you for taking something that can be so negative – and making it positive.
I wish we always made the negatives into positives in our marriages!
I am the same way! I actually don’t mind the snoring. The few times he was away or I was away, I actually did have trouble getting sleep because I missed his snoring.
The same is true for me! Alan just left on a trip, and I had trouble sleeping last night because I’m not used to being alone.
I’m glad you feel this way. Most people are just unable to sleep with a snoring partner which ever way you look at it, and we need our sleep. It is essential for our health and wellbeing. Sleep deprivation is no joke and should be taken seriously by those who are deeply affected by it. For many, turning a negatve into a positive is beyond them when it comes to suffering from long term sleep deprivation. Real, solutions should be sought for this real problem.
I always try to turn a negative into a positive so that life is easier because of the way we see the situation.