Jacob’s Lentil Stew

July 27th, 2012

jacobs-lentil-stew

Recently I decided to make some Bible-time foods, having found the book Foods from the Bible at a used curriculum sale for fifty cents. My son begged me to get it, so I let him make these recipes. The first recipe was for Jacob’s lentil stew that he might have made for Esau in exchange for the birthright. After reading the story to the children, we mixed the following ingredients together:

  • 2/3 cup red lentils
  • 1 medium yellow onion, diced
  • 1 tablespoon flour
  • ¼ cup rice
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 2 teaspoons salt
  • ¼ teaspoon black pepper
  • ¼ cup diced bell pepper
  • 5 cups water

Add these together in a big pot, bring to a boil, then simmer for 1 hour. Pour it into a blender, making sure the lid is on tight, or everyone will scream at being scalded by the burning stew, which looks like barf by that time. I told the children to look away so that they wouldn’t lose their appetite. But it was too late.

Oh, I forgot to mention to add these ingredients to the blender at the last minute:

  • 2 tablespoons lemon juice
  • 2 tablespoons fresh parsley, chopped
  • pinch of red pepper

You need more than a pinch of red pepper for this tasteless stew to have any flavor whatsoever. It tastes kind of like pea soup. Plus, it’s not red, even though the lentils were red. So the real stew must have contained tomatoes. Or something red. Maybe something with flavor. No way did Esau trade his birthright for this dish.

bible-salad

As a side dish, we made a Bible-time cucumber salad:

  • 1 cucumber, peeled and diced
  • 1 large tomato
  • 1 small onion, chopped
  • 1 tablespoon fresh parsley, minced
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 1 tablespoon vinegar
  • 1 teaspoon minced garlic
  • salt and pepper to taste

Combine ingredients and chill before serving. This salad has a more delicate flavor than your average cucumber salad, which I like better than this. But this salad was okay. The children ate it without complaint.

mint-tea

And lastly, we made some Bible-time mint tea:

  • 5 cups boiling water
  • 1 tablespoon fresh mint leaves
  • 8 teaspoons of sugar, or honey to taste
  • 4 tea bags

Steep all the ingredients together for about three minutes. Pour into cups, and garnish with a sprig of mint. Two of my children loved this tea, which is a great way to finish a somewhat lousy meal.

Organizing Your Car

July 24th, 2012

In this funny video, I show you how organizing your car can be simple and rewarding:

Top 10 Ways Your House Falls Apart

July 22nd, 2012

house-falls-apart

I’ve been thinking about this Top 10 humorous blog post for months now, dissatisfied with it, wanting to throw it in the trash. It was in my “Unfinished Blog Posts” folder, just rotting there. My problem was that after reading it, I wanted to cry rather than laugh:

  1. Turning the handle to flush the toilet is like playing on a Vegas slot machine. You never know when an out-of-control cascade will come out of the thing. Looking around helplessly, you find it impossible to keep the pot from dispensing its contents all over the floor.
  2. The paint on the outside of your house is chipping. It has needed a coat of paint for years now. It looks like an abandoned ghost town, except for the children running around.
  3. You try to open a drawer, only to have the handle come off in your hand.
  4. Your kid hangs like a monkey from your towel rack, and the bar falls on the floor with a clang. It’s still on the floor months later, because you haven’t gotten around to re-hanging it.
  5. The faucet is constantly dripping. There’s a trick to shutting it off, you know. As you’re falling asleep, you incorporate the dripping into a rhythm so that it’s not so irritating.
  6. The sprinkler system leaks every spring, no matter how much you empty it before winter. Checking it for leaks is like one of those games at a carnival that sprays water unexpectedly at you when you think nothing is happening.
  7. The instruction booklet on repairing appliances was written by someone who obviously doesn’t speak fluent English. How do you make heads or tails out of the abrupt, unintelligible sentences?
  8. The remote control for the garage has to be disconnected from the sunshade flap and aimed out the window to get the garage door to open. It’s like the remote control is a gun, and your house won’t let you in unless held at gunpoint.
  9. The cream carpeting has so many stains that your guests naturally assume you have a polka-dotted carpet. Or they ask if you’re still potty training.
  10. The spin cycle on the washing machine goes “ka-clunk, ka-clunk, ka-clunk” and sounds like it’s going to fall apart any minute. You never know when one of your appliances is going to explode. (Refer to the Exploded Cauliflower post to hear how one of my appliances exploded.)

Dollar Movies

July 19th, 2012

dollar-movies

The summer is a great time to go to the dollar movies, and yes, they still exist in many cities. The tickets usually cost $3.50 instead of $1, but that’s still good when you have a family of six. The movies have been out of the real theaters by the time you see them at a dollar theater, which is about two months behind.

In Spokane, the dollar movies are at the Garland Theater, which is huge and quite beautiful for an old movie theater. Yes, the floors are sticky, but who is going to complain? Oh, and every summer they show a free movie certain mornings, to help people get out of the heat. (Or to get them hooked on going to that theater so that they can stay in business throughout the year.)

dollar-movie-concession-stand

We’ve watched several movies at this theater over the years, including “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs” and “Tangled.” It made us want to build boats out of sandwiches and float lanterns up into the sky. My kids love seeing movies on the big screen.

If you have a zero budget, another way to watch fun movies during the summer with your family is to get some entertaining DVD’s from your library. Not all the videos are educational. Some of them are just for fun, and many are recent releases. Check them out, go home, pop yourself some popcorn, and declare a movie night!

Related article: The Aftermath of a Movie