I finally found a women’s Bible study book that isn’t shallow, irritating drivel! This Beth Moore Bible study on the book of James is wonderful. Beth Moore approaches God the same way I do, plunging into the Word of God and living it. Yes, there is homework five days a week, but it’s interesting, deep, and exciting. I actually had a breakthrough this week. We’re studying the book of James, and one of the homework assignments was to write down what our present trial was, and then three ways to respond to that trial. “Count it all joy when you encounter various trials…” is what James says, so that needs to be one of the three responses to choose from.
For my present trial, I wrote: (1) despair, (2) work harder, to no avail, and remain burned out, or (3) count it all joy, trusting that God is in control of my circumstance.
Then we were told to look at the five-year ramifications of each of those responses. That was a real eye-opener. I realized that the despair I’ve been feeling over the past few months over my business is from the enemy, who is trying to incapacitate me and render me ineffective for God’s kingdom.
I will not let this happen. I’ve forgotten how to rest, but I must do so. And as long as I continue to look to God as my source, the glory of God is the only thing that ought to matter. I don’t want resentment to set in. Every time I see it, I get rid of it, but it’s something I have to fight.
The five-year ramification of leaning on God as my source of strength is wonderful.
“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (II Corinthians 12:9)
And then something else happened at the Bible study. I’ve been trying (not very hard, because I don’t need them, dang it, and I’m sick of getting hurt) to connect to the women from my church. God prompted me to sign up for this 8-week Bible study, one of the reasons being that God commands me to connect to His church. It’s a command that I’m disobeying. I know what it’s like to connect so much with a church body that I can feel the pulse of the church. It’s incredible, and once you’ve had it, you can’t go back.
The first week when I made a comment in the Bible study, the women visibly recoiled from me. I’m a very intense person, and people who know me enjoy me very much. But strangers don’t know what to do with me. I felt sad. I was sharing my heart, and I felt rejected.
Well, today I confessed to the group how I felt. The women said they were glad I was there. And afterwards a woman came up to me and said, “I recoiled from you when you spoke last week because I was convicted. You used Scripture. What you were saying was so powerful and deep.”
I said, “Really?” with tears in my eyes.
She said, “Yes,” and gave me a hug.
