Susan's Homeschool Blog

When I was first asked to have a monthly show on the Homeschool Channel, I asked God what He wanted me to teach. Because the first one was in January, I wanted to do something about organization, since that’s one of my specialties. But I wanted to hit it from a new angle and say something I had never said before. With all my heart, I wanted to do a workshop about prayer. When Beth Jones interviewed me online back in May 2011, she said she was going to ask me about prayer. But we ended up talking about spiritual warfare. So I’ve been wanting to do a workshop on prayer for quite a while now.

Suddenly the title came to me, “Organizing Your Homeschool Through Prayer.” I felt excited. I felt spiritual chills (in a good way), and suddenly the outline for the workshop came to me. I had so much joy in the Spirit.

Well, the day came, and the producer called, and we went on the air. I delivered the workshop, and I knew that what I was saying would make a difference in people’s lives. If you pray about your school year, your schedule, and individual goals for your children, you will have more peace and joy in your homeschool, and you will be more aligned to the will of God.

As soon as I went off the air, the producer called again and said that the broadcast was messed up, that the video kept freezing, and that I was cutting out. Even before the producer called, I saw e-mails coming into my inbox, saying, “You were sharing some amazing things… but I couldn’t keep up with all the breaks in the feed… It was awesome material and just what I needed to be hearing…” I got many similar e-mails, clamoring for me to do it again.

The producer said we should do it again. I knew that it was the enemy who had messed up the first copy; something bad always happens to me when I’m talking about spiritual things. So even though I had no strength left and wanted to collapse into bed, I felt that God wanted me to do it again. So right before going on the air, I said, “Stop! I need to pray…” The producer let me pray quietly before putting me on again. I threw myself upon God, knowing I didn’t have the strength to do it again. “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” II Corinthians 12:9

I stumbled over my introduction like a fool. I have never done that in public speaking. I’m a ham, and I’m articulate even when I’m tired. But I couldn’t do it. In that moment I panicked. If I had been filming it, I would have yelled, “Cut!” and would have started over. But I was live.

I looked down at the chat room box, and the producer had written, “You’re doing great.” At that moment I knew I could do it; I just needed to humble myself to pray in front of an audience, for God to calm my heart and to help me do this again. I was not planning to pray out loud because as a speaker/performer, I am aware of my audience. God deserves my full attention when I pray. I don’t want other people eavesdropping on my private prayer, thank you very much.

So I prayed, and God gave me the strength and the words, and I delivered the webinar again. This time there were no problems with the video or audio, because we had lowered the resolution on the video. I shared things I had not shared the first time around; I even briefly shared the Gospel and stated the fact that if you aren’t getting wisdom from God, you might be walking in sin. “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.” (Psalm 66:18) I stated many more things that I did not state during the first recording.

Come to find out the next day, the second copy was lost forever.

The producer said the audio portion on the first copy was clear and perfect, but that my face freezes up every few seconds. And the first five minutes is cut off, so it seems like you’re joining me halfway through my session, even though it’s close to the beginning. If you missed the session, it’s here.