Susan's Homeschool Blog

How does your identity affect marriage? If you are a believer, you are a new creation in Christ. The core of your being desires to please God. First I’m going to address how understanding your identity in Christ causes you to derive your worth from Christ so that you’re not so needy with your husband.

In another article, I will show you how to not attribute wrong motives to your husband, because if he is a believer, his identity is to please God. This affects everything in your marriage. You will begin to see each other in a more positive light.

You must understand who you are in Christ so that you don’t think of yourself as inadequate. Most women view themselves this way. They compare their outer bodies to supermodels who have been airbrushed, and they resent that their own bodies don’t respond when they put in tons of workouts. I myself have given birth 4 times, and my stomach is not the same as it used to be. Just try to take care of your body as best you can, and your positive attitude can take care of the rest.

When you come to Christ, you are forgiven from all sin. You are clean, and God has taken your old nature and replaced it with a new nature. You are now a saint. God is transforming you into His image. You are becoming more and more beautiful inside.

Christ gives you worth. You were created for a purpose, and you can ask God how to fulfill your life purpose so that you can have more joy in your life. If you feel fulfilled in your life, even if you have a flabby stomach, you will still feel good about yourself because of the inward joy of living out what you are supposed to be doing with your life.

Don’t rely on your husband to build you up. If you hang your worth on what your husband says, you are setting yourself up for unnecessary pain. Men say things casually without realizing the emotional implication of their words. Like when I said, “Does this shirt make me look fat?” and my husband said that I’ve had four kids. Wrong answer. Bzzz… You struck out, mister. I could wallow in the pain of that statement, or I can derive my worth from the Lord, knowing that beauty comes from the inside, and that I’m exercising to stay in shape. My husband meant to say that he didn’t expect me to look the same as when I married him, and that of course I was beautiful to him. But he didn’t say it at the time because he felt trapped by the situation. Men don’t want to feel forced to say a certain thing. It feels disingenuous to them. Their minds move on to something else, and they have no idea that they’ve devastated their wives.

Don’t let that happen. Derive your complete worth from Christ. He loves you so much that He died for you. I have close friends that have been abused by their husbands physically, and they absolutely had to disconnect their worth from their husband’s mindless statements. This is not who you are. You are a daughter of the King.

Don’t allow your mind to dwell on negative things. Your mind has a doorway. Shut the door on anything that is not good, right, and true. (Philippians 4:8) Most of the time when we feel like a piece of dirt, it’s because we have allowed ourselves to wallow in our hormones, letting our minds drift into whatever. We spiral deeper and deeper into a negative state. You can stop that spiral at any time. Start breaking free from negative thought patterns and walk in the freedom of your identity in Christ! If you need help with controlling your mind, here is a free audio that will show you how to take every thought captive.