To breathe new life into a marriage that is going through hard times, go back to where you first fell in love. This will refresh your marriage by re-igniting what you had at the beginning of your relationship.
You can do this in many ways, but one tangible way is to go to the places and do the things you did at first. Remember the excitement of when you were dating, how you studied the face of this person and found him so dear. All those feelings are more easily accessed when you return to the original place where you first kissed, or where you got married, or where he first proposed to you, or where you went on your first date.
This is way easier if you live in the same city where you dated, where you got proposed to, where you kissed, etc. For me, I met my husband in California, he proposed in England, we married in Texas, and we are now living in Washington state. So how do we re-create those early memories?
Refresh Your Marriage: Go Back to Your First Love
First of all, we first met in California on a college church retreat that was on an ocean beach. We used to go to the same college Bible study, so we would walk around campus and talk. Secondly, we dated and first kissed in England, and he proposed to me at Planet Hollywood in London. Third, we got married in a small college chapel with stained glass windows in Texas.
So here in Washington state, we found a college campus. We parked nearby, walked to the school, and walked around, exploring the campus. Yes, the feeling I had more than 20 years ago came back, and we felt like college-aged kids again. We kissed in the stairwell of one of the buildings with classrooms, we saw a recreation building with students pre-occupied with their books and relationships, and we explored the small chapel that reminded us of where we got married, since it had stained glass windows. The feeling of how it was back then rushed back like a breath of fresh air, like a breeze lifting me to a better place.
It took merely half an hour, and it was free. It was one of my favorite date nights with my husband, because we had been going through a difficult time full of grief and sorrow, and going to a college campus was like a time machine, transporting us back to the beginning of our relationship. It was so beautiful, I wanted to cry for joy.
Ever since, I have been wanting to write about this fun and unique date, one that you can re-create yourself. For example, if your first kiss was on a bridge, go to that original bridge (or a similar one in the city where you now live), and go through the same situation that brought you together. Reminisce about how things were, and how you felt. Re-enter that moment through the re-entry point of that physical space, and go back to your first love like a time capsule.
Last March, my husband and I returned to the very campus in California where we first went to Bible study together, and where we spent so much time. While driving around the campus, I wanted to roll down the windows and blast 1980’s music, laugh, and be carefree. What a freeing feeling!
