I recently read an article where a woman cut her hair short because she was now a mom. Her husband hated her new haircut and was disappointed that his opinion didn’t matter whatsoever. The writer of the article said, “Grow up,” to this man. She wrote that there is nothing wrong with a mom looking like a mom, which translated means, go ahead and look frumpy because who the heck cares what your husband thinks. This entire mindset is sin.
Let me start by saying that my best friend from childhood is a woman. Let’s say I did something somewhat superficial that would affect her life, disregarding her opinion, even when she had to live with the ramifications of what I did. Then she asks me, “How come you didn’t even ask me?” and I answered, “Who cares what you think?” This would be disrespectful to my friend, who is a woman. How much more so if you’re doing this to your husband?
“The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” (I Corinthians 7:4)
At marriage, a woman’s body belongs to her husband, and a man’s body belongs to his wife. You don’t rule your own body, believe it or not. And it cuts both ways. Let’s say you don’t want your husband to have a long, scraggly beard that is smelly and disgusting. Because even though that is a superficial thing, it affects your attraction to your spouse.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not going to withdraw from my husband if he looks ugly. I’m not. And I’m not a superficial person. If he gets into a car crash and looks all mangled like a monster, I will love and cherish him and kiss his sweet face til the day I die. But that is no excuse for him to purposely look ugly for me.
You should also be willing to live with the consequences of your actions. The woman who cut her hair short and didn’t care what her husband thought now has to live with the fact that she is not as attractive to her husband. Likewise, if my husband shaves off the close clipped beard that I love, he is not as appealing to me, even though of course I will still love him. But the bedroom ought to matter. If the bedroom doesn’t matter to the woman, then her husband is not her priority. Her marriage will suffer because she doesn’t care about pleasing her husband, and her marriage has taken a back seat.
