Posts Tagged ‘sex’

Sexual Purity for Teen Boys

Monday, February 20th, 2017


If you are concerned about sexual purity for teen boys as a parent in our day and age, you are not alone. Sexual sin is rampant in our culture, and things are getting worse as internet porn shows more and more violent sexual actions against women to be desirable. How is a young man to keep his way pure? By keeping it according to God’s Word. Hal and Melanie Young have just made this task easier for Christian parents by writing their new book Love, Honor, and Virtue: Gaining or Regaining a Biblical Attitude Toward Sexuality.

Everything is covered in this book, from pornography to masturbation to sexual perversion to how to find a good wife. How to regain purity is also discussed. Everything is spoken of in a clean, frank way that is necessary for addressing these topics. The book is also thin enough to be read in one sitting. One of my teen sons finished it in two hours one morning. Another son spent two days reading it. Nothing came as a surprise to my sons because I’ve addressed sexual issues head-on every time they have been mentioned in Scripture or in literature over the years.


Dr. Tedd Tripp, author of Shepherding a Child’s Heart (my favorite parenting book that addresses heart issues instead of outer behavior) has read the book and recommends it, if you need the endorsement of a well-known Christian speaker.

For every Christian mother who has wrung her hands, wondering if her son may be viewing pornography behind her back or with friends, this book will address this awkward conversation so that your son doesn’t have to feel weird talking about this to his mother.


I praise God for a husband who was able to have the “birds and bees” conversation with our sons when they were twelve. Each of our sons heard about sex first from his own father instead of his peers, and it was mentioned as something you were only supposed to do with your spouse. This is one reason many people homeschool their kids, to control the amount of sexual smut that comes in from public schooled peers. But you can’t shelter your teens forever, no matter how much you try, especially when they leave home for college. Our sons must make up their minds to be sexually pure before marriage BEFORE they leave home.

Our teen boys must learn self-control before they face the world on their own. They MUST. We cannot leave this to chance and hope for the best.

I met Hal and Melanie a few years ago when they spoke at a homeschool conference here in Spokane. They are the real deal, people who love and honor God wholeheartedly. If you are going to buy the book, please buy it from their website to bless them : Love, Honor, and Virtue: Gaining or Regaining a Biblical Attitude Toward Sexuality.

You are Not Your Own

Tuesday, January 31st, 2012

you-are-not-you-ownI recently read an article where a woman cut her hair short because she was now a mom. Her husband hated her new haircut and was disappointed that his opinion didn’t matter whatsoever. The writer of the article said, “Grow up,” to this man. She wrote that there is nothing wrong with a mom looking like a mom, which translated means, go ahead and look frumpy because who the heck cares what your husband thinks. This entire mindset is sin.

Let me start by saying that my best friend from childhood is a woman. Let’s say I did something somewhat superficial that would affect her life, disregarding her opinion, even when she had to live with the ramifications of what I did. Then she asks me, “How come you didn’t even ask me?” and I answered, “Who cares what you think?” This would be disrespectful to my friend, who is a woman. How much more so if you’re doing this to your husband?

“The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” (I Corinthians 7:4)

At marriage, a woman’s body belongs to her husband, and a man’s body belongs to his wife. You don’t rule your own body, believe it or not. And it cuts both ways. Let’s say you don’t want your husband to have a long, scraggly beard that is smelly and disgusting. Because even though that is a superficial thing, it affects your attraction to your spouse.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not going to withdraw from my husband if he looks ugly. I’m not. And I’m not a superficial person. If he gets into a car crash and looks all mangled like a monster, I will love and cherish him and kiss his sweet face til the day I die. But that is no excuse for him to purposely look ugly for me.

You should also be willing to live with the consequences of your actions. The woman who cut her hair short and didn’t care what her husband thought now has to live with the fact that she is not as attractive to her husband. Likewise, if my husband shaves off the close clipped beard that I love, he is not as appealing to me, even though of course I will still love him. But the bedroom ought to matter. If the bedroom doesn’t matter to the woman, then her husband is not her priority. Her marriage will suffer because she doesn’t care about pleasing her husband, and her marriage has taken a back seat.

Take Care of Your Body

Thursday, October 20th, 2011

take-care-of-your-bodyI don’t know what it is about us women hating our bodies. As a teenager I thought I was ugly because my body was as flat as a pancake. Even as a woman in my 20’s, I hated the way I looked. And then my red hair became a liability when I was brutally attacked. I’m surprised I didn’t blimp out into a huge fat person because I felt so yucky about my body.

I’ve known drop-dead gorgeous women who hate their bodies. I think this is a universal problem. Women on TV are on severely restricted diets and ALL of them are wearing push-up bras. What you see on TV and magazines is often fake, airbrushed to perfection. How on earth we are supposed to measure up to all that is beyond me.

So drop it. Love who you are. And if you are a child of God, that begins with the core of your being. (If you don’t understand your actual value in Christ, please read this article.) In the deepest part of your being, you desire to please God. You are a new creation; you are fresh and clean.

God has you on this earth for a purpose. Ask God what that purpose is. Most people never accomplish their purpose in life because they never yield their entire lives to Christ. They just trust Him for salvation, and then lead a selfish life of misery. They’re scared of sanctification, or growing in holiness, because the enemy has deceived them into saying, “I don’t want to change.” You don’t have to change yourself. That’s what God is for. It’s supposed to be a miracle. Stop trying to do it yourself and ask God to do the work in you.

The sin in your life is what drives people away from you, by the way. The closer you are to Christ, the more beautiful your face looks.

Okay, so inside you are beautiful because you are a new creation in Christ. Now let’s talk about the outer shell, the body that you’re stuck with.

No matter how huge your body is, no matter how many warts or sags or whatever else you don’t like, if you start taking care of your body by exercising, you will gradually look better, and you will see the improvement in yourself. This is the same with sanctification. When you get rid of sin in your life, you will gradually radiate beauty.

My husband always told me that sexiness was a state of mind. When I feel attractive, I AM attractive. So you can begin to accept the raw material that God has given you. Who you are TODAY, right now, is unique and valuable. You can be pretty right this second by taking care of yourself.

Gluttony deserves a whole separate article, and I don’t have time to address it right now. The Bible has a lot to say about gluttony. Look it up in a concordance. If you are married, your body actually belongs to your husband (I Corinthians 7:4-5). So if you don’t take care of your body, you are disobeying God, and you need to repent. This is not optional. You need to at least try to take care of your body. If you’ve given up, that’s wrong.

So yes, you need to accept what God has given you, but that doesn’t mean don’t change. Because if you are gradually becoming a better person inside and out, it will be easier for you to accept who you are.