Posts Tagged ‘husband’

Marriage Articles, Webinars, and Audios

Friday, February 3rd, 2012

marriage-articlesHere are some marriage articles, webinars, and audios that often include personal stories from my life. I show you how my husband and I relate to each other. My heart is to see godly marriages where the husband and wife are truly one.

Marriage Articles:

Marriage Webinars and Workshops:

Marriage Audios:

 

Clinkerdagger

Thursday, February 2nd, 2012

ClinkerdaggerOne of the best dates of all time with my husband would have to be eating at Clinkerdagger. Even though the meal itself was special, it was the events leading up to the date that were a sweet gift from God. It was my birthday, and countless times we’ve done nothing for my birthday. I don’t expect to be honored like most women do. I’m not bratty that way. If my birthday comes and goes, I tell my husband what I want, and he gets it for me. There has never been something I’ve asked for that my husband hasn’t gotten for me, no matter what the cost. Of course, being a tightwad myself, I only ask for things I’ve wanted for a long time, and that is within our price range.

I’d seen women fuming and resentful at their husbands for getting them something stupid for their birthdays. The women mope around and say their men don’t love them. Just so you women know, men can’t read minds. They’re not clairvoyant. So if you want something, tell them. I don’t know what’s so hard about this. But let’s get back to the Clinkerdagger story.

I had gone to a yard sale, and I found a gorgeous evening dress that was a sparkling dark red. Because the yard sale was at a park, there was no way for me to try it on. Having grown up in a third world country, I knew how to bargain, so I said I’d buy the dress for fifty cents. The lady said yes. When I took the dress home, I tried it on, and it fit me perfectly.

We had no money. My husband sold something in his office for $80. Then he went to Costo and got a $100 gift card for $80 for Clinkerdagger. So God supplied the money and made it stretch. We got a babysitter (my parents) and made a reservation.

The reservation was later than we’d hoped for, so we went to the hot tub first. That was at the gym we used to be members of back then, which my husband got a discount for through his work. So whenever we went on a date, we would end at the hot tub. But this time we started there. Hot tubs are wonderful. They relax your muscles, and your body actually feels better afterwards.

So I was changing into my evening gown at the gym, and I hadn’t decided whether to wear sandals or high heels. I asked a random woman in the locker room. She said, “Definitely the sandals.” She raved about how awesome the dress looked and asked me where I bought it. “I got it at a yard sale for fifty cents.” “Shut up!” she said in surprise. I laughed.

When we got to Clinkerdagger, we were seated. I looked around at the medieval decorations. This is definitely my favorite restaurant. Bummer that it’s so expensive. After ordering our food, I went to use the restroom. As I was walking back from the restroom, my husband looked at me. I could tell in his eyes that he really liked the dress.

After eating a delicious meal, I just sat there looking at my husband. The entire date was wonderful from start to finish, a sweet gift from God.

Shut Up, Woman! (Part 2)

Friday, October 14th, 2011

shut-up-woman-2When I told my husband what this bigot had said to me, his first reaction was, “How dare you talk this way to my wife? What gives you any authority at all over my wife?!”

The first Scripture that popped into my husband’s head was Proverbs 31. The Proverbs 31 woman conducted business with men without her husband present, and she had the full authority of her husband to be independent in this manner. She was also independent in ruling over her household activities. My own husband gives me freedom to research homeschooling materials and buy whatever I feel is right for our family. He also supports my online homeschool business, and he travels with me to homeschool conferences, and he allows me to be in the limelight. He enjoys that I’m a ham and I love the camera. I once saw him in the back of the room while doing my “Using Journals to Teach Writing” workshop at a homeschool conference. He was so proud of me, his eyes shone.

My husband rules me. But he cherishes me and is selfless. He loves who I am and I don’t feel suffocated. There is fresh air here where I live. I yield my thoughts to my husband, and I take on his thoughts, and he influences my mind, and I draw closer to God and feel excited in my spirit. The mystery of Christ and the church is here, where we are told to yield our spirits to Christ, and there is true freedom, and we are one, and it feels right to the core of my being.

But Proverbs 31 (which, by the way, is the iconic image of the godly woman) is not what my husband used to knock down what this man said. Instead, he poked holes in the man’s argument. Here is what he wrote:

I read your interpretation of 1 Timothy to mean that no woman should ever make any public statement that might instruct or advise a man. Is that correct? I consider this to be a very rigid interpretation. I understand this interpretation and I understand from whence it comes, yet I disagree with it. Still, given that this is what you believe, I’m curious: If a woman has no liberty to speak where a man might learn then what makes you think that a man has any liberty to speak to another man’s wife? Particularly, sir, when dispensing advice on life and Godliness? Are you now responsible for my wife’s soul?

If your application of 1 Timothy is really that strict, then might I suggest that you direct complaints about my wife’s behavior to me, since I don’t think Scripture provides any liberty to speak to another man’s wife in that manner.

Now then, I don’t actually believe that is a proper application, otherwise, Priscilla was way out of line when she and Aquila instructed Apollos. (I suppose you might try to redeem your argument by claiming that this was acceptable because she was with her husband at the time, but then how do you know I was not with my wife when she wrote her blog post?)

I’ve been fervently and diligently searching the Word for at least as long as you, and I’ve found that, generally, when someone appeals to the authority of Scripture with statements like, “The Bible is very clear,” then they are preparing to follow up with claims that are not that clear, just as you have done. And I’m not sure if you were trying to sound prideful and arrogant when you accused Susan of being prideful and arrogant, but you nailed it if you were.

I could go on, but this is already wearisome to me…”

As you can see, my husband is my hero, and he has my full allegiance. I gladly yield to the man that God has put in authority over me.

Shut Up, Woman! (Part 1)

Thursday, October 13th, 2011

shut-up-womanBefore I continue with more posts about submission, I must make absolutely clear that the Bible never states that all women should be subject to all men, or that any random man has authority over you as a woman. This is straight from the pit of hell, and it causes women to react so strongly that they refuse to submit sweetly to their own husbands, which is sexy and beautiful and has nothing to do with inferiority.

I got a furious comment from a man about my “What Men Can Do to Lead their Wives Spiritually” post. He basically said, where do I get off telling men what to do? He slammed me with random Scriptures that were completely taken out of context. My initial reaction was this:

“I am only a sister in Christ helping my brothers in Christ as friends. I am not standing up in the church and teaching anything, and I have my husband’s authority that he is in agreement with what I have written here. If men did these things, their wives would be facilitated in following their husbands. This is the truth, and I boldly proclaim it to the world, and I will not be intimidated by you. If your ears are plugged to half the body of Christ, you are walking in sin, my dear brother.”

He responded, Scripture, Scripture, show me the Scripture. Yes, sir. Here is my official answer:

By half the body of Christ, I meant women. Women comprise half the church, and God commands us to submit one to another in the body of Christ (Ephesians 5:21), that there is no difference between male and female (Galatians 3:28), and that we are each to regard the other person as more important than ourselves (Philippians 2:3). Furthermore, we are COMMANDED to use our spiritual gifts in the body of Christ (I Corinthians 12, Romans 12, Ephesians 4). Miriam led the entire people of Israel in worship to God. God Himself chose prophetesses in the Old Testament, who were commanded to speak to the people, who included men. In all fairness, I believe that men were supposed to do this, but that there were NO GODLY MEN.

Scripture does say that women are to be silent in the church (I Corinthians 14:34-35). I will not ignore this Scripture, because I believe there was a reason for it. Women are easily deceived (I Timothy 2:14), probably because of emotion and hormones. Many times something seemed right to me, but after talking with my husband, I set my emotion aside and engaged my brain in a more objective manner. Then I saw the situation more clearly. Whether you believe this or not doesn’t matter, though. What matters is full obedience to the Word of God, and God’s direct command is for women to submit ONLY to their own husbands.

Men are commanded to be the spiritual head of their wives most clearly in Ephesians 5:25-27, but also in I Corinthians 11:3. Titus 2:5 says that we as wives are to be subject to our own husbands, and Ephesians 5:24 says we are to be subject to our husbands in everything, and that would include being washed by the Word by our husbands. Everywhere in Scripture where men’s and women’s roles are mentioned (Colossians 3:18 is another one), the husband leads and the wife submits to his authority. And actually, if a man cherishes his wife, this whole submission thing is WONDERFUL. It’s sexy and awesome and it works.

(Stay tuned for how my husband defended me from this bigot in “Shut Up, Woman!” Part 2…)