Posts Tagged ‘priorities’

Virtual or Real? (Part 2)

Wednesday, November 16th, 2011

virtual-or-real-2Being on the computer is not necessarily sin any more than reading a book is sin. Some people go overboard on book reading and forget to spend time with their children, but nobody talks about that. Excessive time waste is what we eventually regret.

I keep hearing people talk about balance, but that’s wrong. It’s not about balance, it’s about abiding. If we are sensitive to the Spirit’s leading in our lives, we will know what we should be doing every moment of every day. Abide in Christ. Yield to God and ask Him what to do each moment.

My problem is distraction. God might prompt me to get onto the computer, and I write this deep spiritual article that surprises and convicts me. But then other things on the computer call my attention, and without thinking, I go off into cyberspace. That is where my time wastage occurs. Yet even then, I sometimes stumble upon a blog where I’m able to spiritually encourage another mom, and God uses it anyway. But that’s not to justify my distraction. It’s to say that the line is fuzzy, and maybe I was supposed to hop around in cyberspace, or maybe that God used it for His glory despite the fact that I had my priorities wrong.

You know, like the times when you sin by yelling at your kid. But then you go back and apologize, and you end up having a deep spiritual conversation that could never have occurred had you not yelled in the first place. Yeah, like that.

The other thing is, I’ve known moms who hover over their children where they don’t have any space to breathe. If I spent all my days hovering over my children every moment, that would not serve them well. Creativity is developed through solitude, and so are deep thoughts. Children need down time. They need time that is not directed at every moment by their parents.

So when all is said and done, am I living the virtual life or the real life? The answer is both. Because behind my virtual life lies real people. I pray for the people on Facebook. I hurt for them. Those people are real. When I give them encouragement, they are lifted up. My time on the computer is not worthless.

What I must remember is that I must reel myself in, and check in with God from time to time. I can ask, “What do I need to be doing right now?”

Tags:, , ,
Posted in Social Media | 10 Comments »

Virtual or Real? (Part 1)

Tuesday, November 15th, 2011

virtual-or-realI had a nightmare a couple of nights ago that my daughter got thrown off a horse and died. I screamed and ran over to where she was, covered in blood. Her body was in a position where she couldn’t possibly be alive. I felt unspeakable pain; then I abruptly woke up.

I splashed my face with cold water, and walked into the kitchen to make coffee. I looked through the dining room door to my six-year-old daughter, who was diligently doing her math, dressed in her night gown. She’s always the first one up.

But today I stopped. I drank in the moment. She’s alive. She’s still small. I haven’t missed anything. I walked over to her, hugged her tightly, and kissed her head.

Then I walked away, turned on the computer, and posted my blog entry for the day. I went to post it on Facebook, and there I saw my friends and what they were doing. Soon I was drawn in…

Half an hour later I realized I hadn’t had my coffee, so I walked back into the kitchen to pour it. Then I walked straight back to the computer.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next day I watched the movie “Secretariat,” which I had found on DVD at the library. My kids were munching popcorn as they watched the horses racing. But what struck me the most was an off-handed moment at a party, where the husband dances with his daughter who is all grown up now. And I saw my daughter grown up, and I started bawling that I had missed it.

My daughter is still six. She was cuddled up beside me, wondering why my eyes were watering, but I don’t want to miss her life, or the lives of my sons. I want to live.

I want to LIVE.

I don’t want to be sucked into the virtual world, the world that is online. Yes, God has called me to it, and He keeps putting things on my heart to write about. And yet where is the limit? Where is the boundary? How do I remind myself… Look, my kids are alive… My kids are here… I want to be present with them, to be living in the moment.

One of my sons was praying in the dark tonight, and I suddenly came up with the title “Virtual or Real?” I wanted to write it down before I forgot. But another son wanted to pray. I’m ashamed to say it, but I told my son, “God can hear you. Go ahead and pray without me. I need to write something down.” I closed the door and walked away.

I stopped halfway up the stairs and screamed in my soul, “No! This is exactly what I’m talking about!” In the dark, I ran back to my sons’ bedroom and opened the door.

“Are you still praying?”

“Yes,” said my son, and he continued his prayer. As soon as he finished, I said good night and shut the door. I paused and stared into the darkness.

(Stay tuned for part 2…)

Tags:, , ,
Posted in Social Media | 20 Comments »

Put Yourself Above Your Kids?

Friday, July 30th, 2010

put-yourself-above-your-kidsPut yourself above your kids? It’s the second time I’ve heard that God is first, husband second, me third, and children fourth. Nobody has said why this is the case, so I thought about it.

At first it sounded weird, but then it actually made sense. If my body belongs to my husband and I don’t take care of my body, I’m not taking care of my husband.

If I spend all my energy homeschooling the children and have nothing left for my husband, my husband is not first before the children. If I do less with my children, and I do something that will refresh me or give me energy, I will not only take care of myself, but I’m a better wife.

So homeschool mothers really must prioritize themselves above their children (or homeschooling) in order to be what their husbands need them to be: a fun playmate who actually has something to give. In turn, if we are refreshed, we will be able to homeschool with a joyful heart instead of a weary one.

 

Tags:, , , ,
Posted in Parenting | No Comments »