For children to bicker and not get along is the natural human condition. That’s why we need transformation. That’s why we have God. God is able to do what we are not. In our own strength, nothing supernatural is possible. With God, I’ve seen miracles happen on a weekly basis in my home. The majority of those miracles happen inside my own heart as I lean on God. Yes, you have to have a desperation that causes you to throw your entire being upon God for Him to work.
The other day my kids were screaming at each other. I took one of my sons involved in the screaming to another room. Perspective. That’s what I said. He was talking in such a frantic manner, as if playing a game was an emergency. Peace and a yielding to God should rule our hearts, not this frantic screaming and demanding one’s own way. He said his brother was annoying him. (I have already addressed the fact that annoying others is like Satan because it causes someone else to sin, so it’s worse evil than the person who strikes back in self-defense.) But now I’m dealing with the one who strikes back, or in his screaming words he was attempting to strike back. I said, remember Jesus was insulted and struck, but He did not retaliate. My son said, “But that’s impossible.” His brother makes him so furious.
“Sweetheart, of course it’s impossible. That’s what God is for. Our God is the God of the impossible. God changes me all the time in ways that are impossible. That’s what’s incredible about it.” I gave several testimonies of my own life when I was struggling with a sin issue, and God transformed me, usually slowly over time because I wanted so badly to do God’s will, asked Him with all my heart, and tried (although imperfectly) to walk by His Spirit when the sin trigger happened.
My son sat there stunned. “You mean you were furious at my brother, too, for the same annoying mannerisms?” Yes. And God changed me. When I see the annoyances, I have a tranquility in my soul that is called patience. I did not drum it up myself. God gave it to me because I asked, tried really hard, and yielded to God so that He could do the work through me. Sometimes a Scripture verse helped. I could quote the verse to myself to remind me how God wanted me to act. “The anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires.” James 1:20
My son calmed down. I said, “Do you want God to change you? You have to want it. That is step one. Then you need to stop the next time you are annoyed by your brother and reach upward in your soul to God. God will do the rest. I promise you it’s true. God so badly wants to change our sinful tendencies. All we have to do is be willing.”
Blessing Others With Your Words
Tags: anger, Christian Living
Thank you so much for this. We are going to use this as a devotional today in school. My sons are 13 and 11 1/2 and really argue a lot. I, like you, get so angry and call on God all the time. I need to do more. I haven’t fixed this with myself yet. I pray continually to have anger taken from me, and to see the good in my sons more. I will keep praying. Thank you again.
Sincerely,
Jane DeLoatch
I just want people to understand how to actually go about changing. It’s both wanting God to do it, and expecting God to do it. “This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” John 5:14 If God’s will and our will are the same, God will always grant our request.