Susan's Homeschool Blog

Just because you’re home all day with your kids doesn’t mean you can’t exercise. Yes, homeschool moms can exercise, and they don’t need to wait for their husbands to watch the kids.

I’m looking out the window at the snow falling, and I know that the streets are icy. If I were to run around the block, I would slip and fall and end up in an emergency room for a cracked bone or something. So how do you exercise when the sun isn’t shining and you have no gym membership? The best answer is to get some exercise videos.

Groan. Yeah, I hear you. Look, even if you are dirt poor and don’t have any money, go to Goodwill, to the video section. There are bazillions of exercise videos to choose from, and they are usually only 99 cents. So you have no excuse. Choose several, because you’ll notice that some are more irritating than others. Like the curly-headed guy from the 80’s, you know which one, that has you “Sweating to the Oldies.” I thought I would like it because I liked the music. But I was so irritated by him that I didn’t even get through the video once. His mannerisms were effeminate.

I was given a box of videos by a friend, and I thought I would try all the exercise videos to see which one I liked. I didn’t like any of them! The yoga didn’t even raise my heart rate, and the positions were impossible. (I’m not flexible whatsoever.) Boxing isn’t my style, either. Maybe I’m just not coordinated.

I forgot about an exercise video I had tucked away in a drawer. This was a video I had gotten at Goodwill years ago, when I had a new baby and wanted to lose the baby fat. The video came highly recommended by three women from my church. It’s “Cindy Crawford: Shape Your Body Workout.” (The copyright is 1992, so you should be able to find that one used.) I haven’t done this one in years, but I remember it being good enough to keep. Maybe I’ll do that one when I can’t handle Jillian’s, which is the one I’m doing now.

Yes, I broke down and actually bought a brand, spankin’ new exercise video. It cost $10 at Walmart. It’s called “No More Trouble Zones” by Jillian Michaels from “The Biggest Loser.” The DVD says, “Eliminate Love Handles, Muffin Tops, and Wobbly Arms for Good!” Okay.

I don’t know why I love this video. It’s impossibly hard. I can’t really do it. But I tell myself, “I’m going to just pretend I’m doing it. I’ll modify it.” If anybody were watching me, they would tell you I was a wimp and I wasn’t really doing it. But they would be wrong. My muscles were burning during the one-hour workout, and the next day my whole body was hurting. (The box says the workout is 40 minutes, but that’s false. I’m telling you straight up; expect it to be an hour.) I shoo my kids down the stairs. If you’re more mature than I am, you can have your kids exercising with you. It’s way too embarrassing for me, and I have to be alone or I can’t concentrate. (Besides, my older two sons are 10 and 9, and Jillian and the other two girls are dressed too skimpy. To me, it’s just a motivation, because I want to look that good, so I’m not offended by their skimpy clothes, as long as I’m the only one in the room.)

Doing the exercise video during the month of December (a total of three times) was a comedy show. I kept banging into the Christmas tree by accident. Once I knocked an ornament clean off the tree, and it went flying through the air, crashing against the fireplace. I’m not making this up. This workout was dangerous, I thought. Multiple times I collapsed to the floor while doing the floor exercises. I’ve never been able to do push-ups, not even from my knees. I’m a wimp, I tell you.

The two women who are standing behind Jillian have smiles plastered on their faces, like they are actually enjoying the exercise. I envisioned enormous people trying to do the same exercises behind those women. I saw them losing their balance, falling, or looking with incredulity, “You want me to do what?!” I smiled to myself as I envisioned this funny workout.

The workout includes 3-pound hand weights, which I got at… drum roll please… Goodwill. My hands were so sweaty that I almost threw the weight straight through the television set. I gripped them harder.

But for some reason I like Jillian, so her workouts are okay, as long as I can clock in the time. She says, “Don’t quit on me now. Think of all the reasons you’re doing this.” And at the end, she says, “This workout is no joke. Don’t undo all the work you’ve done here by not eating right. I make big promises, and I deliver on those promises if you put in the work.” I love her. I don’t care if her workout is impossible. Maybe next month I’ll be able to do more. But after a month with Jillian, my husband has noticed that my belly is flatter. He just up and told me so. I’ve purposely eaten less food. I drink a lot more water. And I don’t snack in the evenings as much. I’ve lost 6 pounds so far, and it’s not even the end of January. (Granted, part of that weight loss was due to sickness, but I’ll take it!)