Top 10 Ways to Listen to Your Spouse


Couples often say that their spouse doesn’t listen to them. Here are the top 10 ways to listen to your spouse:

  1. See the situation through the other person’s eyes. You’ll be able to change their mind easier if you know exactly where they are coming from.
  2. Ask questions to clarify what they are saying.
  3. Don’t let your mind wander. Listen for the main idea so you can make sense out of what they’re saying and respond correctly.
  4. Don’t antagonize them. “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.” Proverbs 18:13
  5. Part of loving a person is enjoying them. Care about what they care about.
  6. Look at the person who is talking to you. Don’t be distracted by other things. Stop what you are doing.
  7. Don’t be impatient, shaking your leg and wanting to be out of there.
  8. Paraphrase occasionally to make sure you understand what they are saying.
  9. Create an environment where your spouse feels safe and loved and not judged.
  10. Treat them how you would like to be treated.

Listening requires time and effort, but it’s worth it because you end up with a greater oneness in your marriage.

For some fun examples of how to listen to your spouse, watch this free webinar: “Listening to Your Husband.”

Linked to Sheila Gregoire’s blog hop.

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4 Responses to “Top 10 Ways to Listen to Your Spouse”

  1. Great tips and it’s always useful to get a reminder of ways to listen. These are really useful, especially as my husband and I communicate with each other in a second language (either Thai or English, depending on the conversation), so we need to be careful of not misunderstanding each other.

  2. great post and soooo, soooo, soooo important. When my husband and I were both working, it was very easy for us to talk to each other b/c we were in similar situations all the time. Now that I’m a stay at home mom and he’s working, I find it even more important to make a point to talk to each other and really listen b/c we’re in such different worlds now! <3 Thanks for the advice.

    • Susan says:

      It’s harder to come up with interesting topics of conversation if our whole day is spent at home with the kids, and if our husbands want to talk about something other than the kids. I’m just saying that it was way easier for me to talk to him about my day back when I was a teacher before I had kids.

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