Expectations Cause Disappointment

expectations-cause-disappointmentOn Valentines Day, men are pressured to get flowers that wilt, chocolate that makes you fat, or diamonds that you can’t afford. Men are put in a stressful situation by their wives, who pressure their men to be romantic (read sappy and girly). Plus, they have to be creative and do something they’ve never done before, and they need to top what they did last year. What an unkind thing for women to do to their men. I say, let’s abolish Valentines Day, for the sake of our men.

Many unhappy married women that I know are deeply disappointed in their husbands. They think their husbands are lame because they don’t think like a girl, and they lack respect for their men. There is no way for the man to do anything right when they’re in this position. (By the way, you are not immune to your marriage being destroyed just because you’re a Christian and you homeschool. Far from it; Satan will attack you more, so you need to work harder on your marriage, not take it for granted. I feel so strongly about this because I have wept over destroyed marriages from dear friends of mine who never thought it would happen to them.)

Most women think they deserve gifts. Nobody deserves anything. Until women realize that they have a man who loves them, they should realize that they already have everything they ever wanted. Love. That’s it. If you have it, be done. Be content. Stop expecting things. If you expect too much from your husband, you will always be disappointed.

Let go of Valentines Day. Instead, be a help meet to your husband. Give him what he wants. Don’t think of yourself at all. This is the way to find true joy, and to have a man that actually cherishes you.

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8 Responses to “Expectations Cause Disappointment”

  1. Ashley E says:

    We don’t even celebrate the holiday! I think it’s enough for me to know that Love loves me every day of the year. Expectations are never met unless they are of yourself, and my expectation of being a submissive wife and having a God-centered husband has never let me down. So here’s to having good husbands and crazy kiddos at the end of the day!

  2. Interesting! My post on this subject is coming very soon, but as a spoiler: I quit expecting from him and I’m the one planning and doing and giving…and I love it!

  3. Susan Evans says:

    I know that this post is a bit harsh, and I was afraid of offending people. I almost didn’t post it. But I can’t tell you how many times women have told me that they expected to be honored and lavished with gifts, and then nothing happened, or at least nothing spectacular. This applies not only to Valentines Day, but birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas. I’m never disappointed because I never expect anything at all. These women are furious and crying on their birthdays, because of their false expectations. I wish that women were content with who they have, instead of being focused on the pieces of junk that are given or exchanged. Presents (pieces of junk) are not important. Your husband is. I guess that’s the point I was trying to make. This is extremely important as far as contentment is concerned.

  4. Gen says:

    Susan, I know what you mean. It’s true that expectations bring dissappointments. That’s why I remind myself that I need to look to God and not my husband. God is my everything and He fills all of my expectations. My husband is human and He can’t, so ├Żou’re right, we put undue pressure on men to perform. I posted a bit about it on my blog last week titled Celebrating Life. In the past we didn’t do much on Valentine’s Day. Now, after reading Sally Clarkson’s Books, I take the opportunity to make the day a little special (add some spice to our days) and I make the effort to show appreciation to my family on that day. It’s all a matter of attitude on our part. I am happy to serve my family and provide a little happiness for them. In not expecting the flowers, I am surprised when he actually does come home with them…..Funny how life changes when our attitude is adjusted. Thanks for the post.

  5. From your post I want to say.. that’s what I did in my relationships (did whatever HE wanted) and I ended up a doormat. I was strung along, went along with whatever he wanted or said and didn’t get anything I needed.

    I also ended up engaged to someone who turned out to be living a double life, under a false name and in actuality was married with a baby. HE was using ME as an escape from his real life. But my life with him was my real life. I had no idea any of this was going on and just found out in August. I immediately told his wife and have had no contact since. I’m also in intense therapy, have panic attacks and can’t be around men anymore at all because they in sum, terrify me. I don’t know what to expect from them after being with a sociopath.

    I’m done with doing what they want. I’m doing what I want from now on and I’m not settling for anything less than that. I’d like for someone to put me first for a change, and bring me a simple bouquet- even if it were weeds from a field- on Valentine’s. It’s the expression of your thoughts and feelings for the other person that counts, not the grandoir of the gesture.

    That said, I think your comment I just said is way better than your post! That is the real issue- you really nailed it down. Women don’t take care to express their needs and desires properly and are disappointed by unmet expections. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t necessarily eliminate your expectations- but maybe they need to be adjusted. And maybe those people need to work on communicating with their partners better. It shouldn’t all be on one person or the other. It should be a team effort. That’s what a marriage is about- a partnership. Not a dictaitorship- on either side.

  6. Sorry, I think the comment YOU just said, the one you left here in the comment secion is better than your post.

  7. Debbie says:

    At this point, we are working on our marriage. Valentime’s day in my book is just a money making holiday. I just like spending time with my husband.

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