Posts Tagged ‘family’

Let Our Men Lead

Monday, October 3rd, 2011

men-leadRecently I watched a series of DVD’s called “Fathers of Vision” produced by the Homeschool Channel. Seven sessions (most of them one hour long) address what it means to be a godly man and lead a family. Half the sessions were preached by Kevin Swanson. His passion for God and his flailing arms make him interesting to watch. My sons, as they were listening to his sermons, stood up and began flailing their arms, and I smiled in hopes of raising at least one preacher. My 11-year-old son blurted out, “I agree with what he’s saying!”

As a woman, this is the first time I’ve heard a series of sermons on what it means to be a father. Women are always banished from the room when men’s roles are mentioned, as if it’s supposed to be a secret. (That’s because women turn into shrews and basically bash their husbands over the head to get them to do what they perceive is the right thing. When women do so, they are the ones ruling, and it never works. Besides, it’s sin.) But I think it’s highly helpful to know that our husbands are responsible for us (their wives and children) before God, and that we need to yield to that dominion and move in the same direction that our husbands want us to go.

I think that’s the key. Find out what’s inside the heart of your husband, what his vision for the family is, and then make that your priority. If your husband doesn’t have a vision for what he wants his family to be, these DVD’s would be excellent for him to watch because they give a biblical vision for how the father is supposed to function in the family.

Wouldn’t it be great if Christian men would rise up and say, “But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Men can take dominion over their homes and decide how to lead their families toward righteousness. The family should reflect the man. In order to do this, a man must actually pursue God for real. He can make such an enormous impact for Christ when he takes his God-given role and says, “I will fulfill it; so help me God.” And even if he fails, and he will, we as wives can support and pray for our husbands and make their task as easy as possible by yielding to his headship.

When I got to the sixth session, “The Heart of It All,” my heart was in my throat. That was an absolutely phenomenal session. Kevin Swanson admitted that he didn’t love his son, and the transformation that occurred inside of him to cause his heart to be woven to the heart of his son was incredible. That was the most Spirit-filled session, and if your husband only has time to watch one, that session is worth the price of the entire set.

Why We Have a Cat: Part 2

Tuesday, September 27th, 2011

why-we-have-cats-2

Not knowing for sure if I was over my cat allergies, I knew that getting a cat would score points with my husband. Why did I want points, you ask? Because I wanted another baby. Yep. I wasn’t thinking properly, and my husband said that a house wasn’t a home until you had a cat by the fireplace, and technically I agreed. I just didn’t want to suffer. But I decided to take a chance.

My husband thought that as long as we had babies and toddlers around, he would never be able to do anything. (This included godly things like going on missions trips, to his credit, so he wasn’t just being selfish.) We were both so tired with four tiny children under the age of five, three in diapers. My husband thought subconsciously that he couldn’t have anything he wanted until we stopped paying so much money for diapers.

To prove him wrong and show him that he could have outrageous things even when we had babies, I got him the cat. He was very pleased. I didn’t tell him the real reason I got the cat. Instead I mentioned the mouse and the squirrel as valid reasons, plus I’ve always loved cats.

The cat ripped everything to shreds, jumped into the indoor plants and shoveled dirt onto the carpet, and if that wasn’t enough, she dropped marbles on the landing at nap time and during the middle of the night.

I had a newborn at the time. I needed rest badly. So I grabbed the cat during nap time and forced her onto a chair. I looked her dead in the eyes and said, “You’d better obey me. Take a nap now.” She knew I meant business. Within a few days, I had the cat trained to take naps. Sometimes I would see the cat jump up on her nap chair; I would look at the clock, and it was exactly one o’clock. The cat’s internal clock was programmed to nap at one.

To make a long story short, we never had another baby. I went through all that for nothing. (At least I didn’t suffer allergies.) When I told my husband the real reason I had gotten the cat, he laughed.

(Stay tuned for Part 3…)

Why We Have a Cat: Part 1

Monday, September 26th, 2011

why-we-have-cats

A shrill scream left my mouth involuntarily as I saw a small, furry brown shape scurry across my dining room floor. “It’s a mouse!” I shouted with surprise to my husband. “Kill it! Get it out of the house!”

“You think I know how to kill a mouse?” my husband asked, bewildered.

“You’re the man. Who else is going to do it?”

My husband paused for a minute. Then he left the room. My feet were up from the floor on the couch where I was sitting, and my eyes were riveted towards the place where I last saw the shape. I did not want to let it out of my sight. If it was lost, I just know that it would scurry across my face in the middle of the night.

My husband came in with a jar, and after about ten minutes of my screaming “Get it! Get it!” with a darting mouse, we caught the mouse in a jar. I didn’t want to know how he killed it, so I didn’t ask. I just said, “Don’t let it loose in our backyard. He came in once; he’ll come in again.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Several weeks later, a squirrel was eating my tulips. I love red flowers, and those were my only red flowers. “Is it legal to shoot a BB gun in the backyard?” I asked my husband.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I took 63 shots to get rid of my allergies. The worst of my allergies was cats. If you’ve read my book Growing Up as a Missionary Kid, you know that I broke out in hives because of a cat. My nose would always drip like a faucet around cats, and the allergic reaction would sometimes progress into full-blown asthma. I was hospitalized once because of asthma caused by allergies set off by a cat.

Then I went to an allergist as a teenager. Each time I got a skin test, I nearly fainted. My vision got dark around the edges, and right before I hit the floor, my vision would suddenly be clear and crisp. Someone had put some rubbing alcohol under my nose.

After the course of several years, getting a shot in my arm every week, then every month, I was theoretically no longer allergic to cats. Well, I had never really tested out this theory before…

(Stay tuned for Part 2…)

Old Songs of Bygone Days

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

old-songs-of-bygone-days

After writing my love story a couple of weeks ago, I was looking for some feel-good music that would take me back in time. As I blasted the music and sang with gusto to my husband, I told him this was how I felt about him before we were married, and that I still felt this way. He grinned and thought I looked too preoccupied to cook, so he took the spatula out of my hand and continued cooking as I sang into a pretend microphone. I could tell he didn’t even like the songs, that he was putting up with my nonsense just to be nice. But he grinned nonetheless.

The sappy music brought back memories of when my sister used to babysit me. She would crank up the tunes, and all four of us girls would sing and dance around the room, skating with our wool slippers across the hard floor. Ahhh, yes. The bygone days. The music brings back all the feelings associated with that era. My whole life was before me back then. My dreams were as big as the universe. The possibilities for my life were endless and exciting.

More memories were triggered, and I saw my parents slow dancing to 50’s music. I thought it was cute, and it made me feel secure. My dad played those 50’s records on the record player. Sometimes the record would skip, and we would pick up the needle and place it back down on the record.

I remember playing 50’s music when I made a restaurant in my sister’s bedroom. It was a romantic cafe. I had a tablecloth on a card table with two folding chairs. I lit candles and my three sisters helped me to serve my parents from the menu. My parents picked whatever dessert they wanted, and I went back to the kitchen to have my older sister scoop out the ice cream into two dishes. My parents looked happy at my restaurant. The ambiance was wonderful. Life was happy.

Sometimes it’s fun just to crank up music and be silly with your family. Love songs are particularly good to play when you are alone with your husband, since music from your dating days will evoke the same emotions that were there when you heard them back then. Music is powerful in improving your mood as well. So go ahead and crank up the music. Let the good times roll…